You notice him from across the room, and you're pretty sure he's spotted you, too. Or maybe the two of you play on the same weekend softball team and you'd love to ask him out.
Don't wait for fate to bring you together. The reality is that it may never happen. Instead, take a chance. Of course it can be a little nerve-wracking to put yourself out there at first. Follow these 7 steps to easy your way into his life.
Starting Off
1. Make eye contact, says Cheryl Pappas, Ph.D., a psychologist. "You want the other person to be aware you have singled him out and are interested in talking to him," she says. Eye contact sends this message instantly. Men often find this step much easier to do, she notes, while it can be a little harder for a woman.
2. Once you've made eye contact, put on your most dazzling smile. "That is the best way to get a guy's attention," says Karen Sherman, Ph. D., a psychologist specializing in relationships. "He may be hesitant to approach you, but a smile makes him see you are interested."
The Next Step
3. Once the ice is broken, try to relax even if you must make a conscious effort. "Be ready to just have fun," Pappas says. Tell yourself that you're just out to have a nice time, no strings attached. Keeping conversation casual is important.
4. Lighten up. Think of the first meeting as an hors d'oeuvre, Pappas says. "If it evolves into something more, that's wonderful," she says. "But the first encounter is not the time or place to be overly serious."
5. Be curious about him, but let him see that you care about yourself, too. "Show an interest in the other person," Pappas says. "But show an interest in yourself as well. You want to put yourself forward as a person that you find interesting. Don't put all the emphasis on the other person."
As Interest Grows...
6. Ask questions. Remember: everyone likes to talk about themselves. But be careful not to talk too much yourself. "That can be a turn off," Sherman says. "After awhile, all she hears is blah blah blah."
7. Once you get to know him a bit, get involved in an activity together such as biking or hiking. "Make an outing into an adventure," Sherman says. "Do something together that's active and you'll both have fun."
