All relationships get into ruts because, in part, we all need some degree of order. Eventually, we trade a little excitement for balance, calm and peace.  But this sense of predictability and control extracts a price by dimming those sparks of love that brought you together. Here are some tips for keeping those sparks alive.

1. Touch. Make sure you don't go through a day without touching, kissing or hugging each other. Give love pinches and squeezes. Holding hands is especially effective in softening the emotional pain whenever you talk about your hot topics. Skin-to-skin contact calms the brain's fight or flight response. Kind touching sends the message that you love each other and are in this together.

2. Laugh. Laughter makes you feel closer to others. Sharing funny experiences arouses in your brain a sense of pleasure. When you feel good and happy, you tend to like and want to be closer to the people who are part of the fun experience. Laughing brings you closer because it says that you and your partner are alike and share a similar sense of humor. Go, make sure to add fun and silly activities. Go to an amusement park, a fun movie or watch comedies on television. 

3. Excite. Activities that challenge arouse your brain. Do something daring or new such as skiing, visiting a new country or taking up a new sport together. Facing the new and difficult together reinforces your sense of union.

4. Resolve. Don't let important topics stew. Roll back the rug and see what you brushed under it. Pull back the Wizard of Oz curtain and learn what it's hiding. But don't just air your grievances. Resolve them with forward-facing solutions. Designing problem-solving plans is very powerful--and sexy. Working as a team strengthens your bonds and allows you to regard each other more positively.

5. Court. Make each other feel special and appreciated. Plan surprise dates. Buy little presents and do some of your partner's usual household tasks. Nothing says loving like being relieved once in a while from doing the dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, grocery shopping, driving kids to the doctor, dumping the cat litter, washing the car or plucking weeds.