If you've been with a few women, you may think you know a lot about sex. But as you gain bedroom experience, you'll soon learn that what is a turn on for one woman is a deal-breaker for another. Good sex means using your brain as much as your body.

Sex Mistake #1: Thinking sex is only physical

Guys tend to get caught up in the physicality of sex. For men, the sensation is almost always good; so much so that there doesn't need to be much else. For women, however, sex takes on a whole different meaning.

How to fix it: Good lovemaking starts long before you reach the bedroom. Make certain that your partner knows how attractive you find her by paying a lot of attention to her, complimenting her and generally spoiling her. This will help her feel more confident and relaxed. Women want lots of things: validation, friendship, being listened to and, yes, a hot time. But try to pay attention to the big picture, not just the physical stuff.

Sex Mistake #2: You think you know what she wants

Men often make the assumption that they know what a woman wants based on their previous experiences with women. You can get into trouble here because the fact is that every woman is different. There are women who can have no-strings attached sex and women who get attached very easily. As far as your sexual repertoire is concerned, consider that what worked on the last woman may not work on this one.

How to fix it: Go slowly and pay attention to how she responds. Ask her about what she likes and doesn't like. Never assume anything except for one thing: every woman you sleep with might approach sex differently from the last.

Sex Mistake #3: Sex feels the same for men and women

Sex feels very different for men and women. When you have intercourse with a woman, and you penetrate, well, that sensation is off the charts for most men. This is not necessarily the case for the woman. The inside of the vagina is less sensitive than the outside parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting can feel like a punch in the stomach to some women, especially if your penis is long.

How to fix it: Don't rush into sex and focus attention immediately on the genitalia. Take it slowly. Learn to massage her whole body. Pay attention when she responds. For one woman, her feet may be the hot zone, for another her ears. This can be great foreplay, especially if your partner is tired or stressed, but it is also part of the rhythm of sex. Think of it as making music together, and this will ultimately lead to more connection between you and therefore better sex.

Sex Mistake #4: There is a problem with our sex if she doesn't have a vaginal orgasm

For the majority of women, they are not going to have a vaginal orgasm during sex. However, the belief that something is wrong with your sex life if she doesn't orgasm  stubbornly persists. Clitoral orgasms are much more common for women as this is a highly sensitive area.

How to fix it: In regards to clitoral stimulation, what may feel great for one woman, may not feel great, or even painful, for another. Be open. Ask her what feels good.

Sex Mistake # 5: There shouldn't be any talking during sex

A lot of men think they should be silent during sex. The problem with this is that when you are silent, the woman doesn't know what's working for her and what's not.

How to fix it: If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some verbal directions. Give her feedback. Also, and let her know what feels really good for you.

Sex isn't just physical.  You have to listen, be aware, and use your brain.  It may start with foreplay, but it's also an interplay and a collaboration.  The best sex is a true partnership.

Sources

"Post-orgasmic Women Agree." Men's Health.  http://www.liu.edu/CWIS/CWP/library/workshop/citmla.htm. Web. 22 Mar. 2010.

Stuttaford, Thomas and Godson, Suzy. "20 Sex Tips for Men." Times Online. 16 June 2001. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article1937394.ece. Web. 22 Mar. 2010.