The truth about orgasms? They're just not the same for both sexes. While experiencing an orgasm for a woman depends a lot on where her head is at (and whether she remembered to take care of all the details of the day before she'll even allow herself to think about orgasms), it's a whole lot simpler for guys.

"In men, arousal can happen quickly and they have their orgasm quickly," says Ian Kerner, Ph. D., sex therapist and founder of Goodinbed.com. "The whole process is extremely expedited in men and right after orgasm, they go into a refractory or pre-arousal state."

Women, on the other hand, take longer to get aroused and it's not so easy when they are distracted, tired or upset about something. Still,  once they get there, with the proper stimulation and the right mindset, women have the advantage of being able to have multiple orgasms, Kerner explains.

Here's how it works for men and for women.

For Women

● Desire (wanting to have sex) and arousal (the state of being aroused) are very different feelings for a woman, Kerner explains. Arousal generally happens much more slowly for a woman, and there's not as direct a relationship between sexual stimulation and sexual desire as there is with a man.

● Women can "lose" an orgasm more easily than a man. If something happens - they get distracted, something completely unrelated pops into their head - they may not have an orgasm.

● Women can have multiple orgasms. "Women don't have the physiological mechanism that men do that holds and releases blood into the genitals with a slight cool down," Kerner says. "For women, if there is a return to foreplay they can often go on to have another orgasm and another."

● An orgasm is more than purely physical for a woman, says Irina Firstein, LCSW. It's much more dependent upon what's going on in her head. "Women are wired a little differently," says Firstein.

● Women's orgasms can be enhanced by anal or cervical stimulation, Kerner explains.

●For women, an orgasm is more about "a connection and togetherness than it is about physical release," says Firstein.

For Men

● There's little difference between desire (wanting to have sex) and arousal (the state of being aroused), Kerner notes. "If a man see something really sexy he is likely to want to have sex," he explains. "Give a guy an erection and he wants to use it."

● Men experience "ejaculatory inevitability," Kerner says. In other words, once things get started for a guy, at a certain point they don't stop.  "Building up the sexual tension and getting to the point of ejaculatory inevitability is how it goes with men," Kerner says.

● An orgasm is more of a "physical relief" for a guy, says Firstein. "A man has an orgasm through his penis," she says.

● Orgasms are much more automatic for men, Firstein notes, with women needing more arousal and foreplay than men.