Whether or not foreplay is important is controversial these days. Some people say it's overrated. In fact, a survey in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, says that women apparently think foreplay doesn't really add all that much to the experience and that they would rather just concentrate on intercourse.  Some 2,300 women were quizzed about intercourse and it was determined that in England, while average foreplay went on for 15.4 minutes, actual intercourse lasted for 16.2 minutes. Americans tend to be a bit more rushed. According to the Daily Star, the average time spent on sex was just seven minutes.

The reason more couples don't put a high emphasis on foreplay can be that they are too tired or simply don't understand the importance of it, says Eric Marlowe Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex and the forthcoming The Foreplay Bible. They also may not realize that foreplay can occur after sex, too.

"The journey is just as important as the final destination place," Garrison says. "It's the same thing as calling a piece of cheese and a cracker an appetizer. In fact, you can have it as a snack, as a lunch, or after the meal if you are still hungry."

He prefers to call it "sex play" rather than foreplay, and he believes that it affords many opportunities to explore your own body as well as your partner's.

The Science behind Foreplay

According to celebrity sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, foreplay has anatomical benefits for the overall sexual experience. While men can be aroused in what seems to be seconds, women take a bit longer—sometimes up to fifteen minutes. Light touching and kissing may do the trick. Remember, foreplay—just like sex—shouldn't be rushed. Women's arousal is linked to their ability to orgasm; so taking one's time during foreplay may be the added touch needed.

Get More Out of Foreplay

  • Explore yourself first to learn your own erogenous zones and then share these with your partner, Garrison recommends.
  • Prop up the pillows on each side of the bed, he advises, and watch each other engage in self-stimulation.
  • Shower together. "It's a very sensual and sexual way of way of preparing the body and the mind," says Garrison.
  • If you and your partner characterize your sex life as dull, Garrison says, it could be because you are just stimulating one or two body parts. Get creative, he recommends, by having foreplay in different settings. "You could start in the living room or the hammock and work your way to the bedroom," he says. "The important thing is to vary it."
  • Consider drinking some pomegranate juice. In one study that was reported in the Daily Star, researchers had 14 couples drink either orange, cranberry or pomegranate juice and then perform a series of tasks. The couples who drank the pomegranate juice kissed more passionately, according to the Start.
  • Make time for foreplay, Garrison says. "People just don't understand the importance of sex play," he explains. "It is all about the pleasure with no end in sight."