Reports that women's sexuality ends with menopause now fall into the category of urban myth or old wives' tale. While some women do experience sexual problems in menopause, many don't. Also, many women discover that sex after menopause is more pleasurable and gratifying than ever before.
"What we believe about sexuality at menopause has a lot to do with our sexual expectations and experience," states Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of The Wisdom of Menopause. She explains that while a woman's libido may go underground during the perimenopausal transition as she reprioritizes her life and how she uses her energy, it is only temporary. "There is no reason for diminished sex drive to become permanent after menopause."
For women who do experience decreased sex drive and other sexual problems after menopause, there is evidence that other health problems may play a significant role. In a study conducted by researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Procter and Gamble Pharmaceuticals, women with low levels of sexual desire as a result of menopause were more likely to be depressed and to suffer physical symptoms such as back pain and memory problems than women who reported higher levels of desire.
While many of the changes that you may experience during menopause, such as hot flashes and insomnia, will subside, others such as vaginal dryness may persist and can limit your sexual activity. However, other changes can be sexually enhancing after menopause:
- As the risk of pregnancy is not a factor after menopause, many women feel more liberated to engage in sex more frequently.
- If you used to experience pain during sex because of conditions such as endometriosis and fibroids, you'll be free from that pain, which makes sex after menopause more enjoyable.
- Some partners report more time for intimacy and togetherness after menopause.
- Some postmenopausal women report having an easier time reaching orgasm or experiencing multiple orgasms.
5 Steps for Better Sex after Menopause
• Reinvigorate your relationship. "Communicating with your partner is key to maintaining a healthy sexual relationship," states Dr. Northrup. But as you age together, you may need to rethink some of the terms of your relationship. "Question what is no longer viable in your relationship and work with your partner on rekindling your passion together."
• Get moving. Research shows that exercise can increase sexual drive, activity and satisfaction. It facilitates blood flow to the genital area, an essential part of arousal. Also, exercise elevates mood and boosts body image, which makes women more likely to want to initiate and engage in sex.
• Get a checkup. Your doctor should check your hormone levels. As your estrogen levels drop, your libido can decline right along with it. Also, there may be other underlying conditions that negatively affect your sex drive after menopause, such as depression, diabetes, heart disease, sleep disorders and thyroid disease.
• Use a progesterone cream. Progesterone is important in maintaining sufficiently high levels of estrogen and testosterone for optimal sexual pleasure, explains Dr. Northrup. Progesterone also helps to stabilize mood and supports normal thyroid function.
• Extend foreplay. As vaginal dryness can make sex after menopause less enjoyable, prolong foreplay. Or, use water-soluble lubricants; oil-based lubricants make condoms less effective against sexually transmitted infections such as HIV.
