Your Relationship: Literally Not a Perfect Fit?

Is bigger always better? Not necessarily, although size does count when it comes to having a good sex life.

"If your partner is really well endowed, that can be a problem, but you can work around this by doing things like exercises to help the vaginal muscles relax," says Bat Sheva Marcus, Ph.D., clinical director of the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in Purchase, New York.

Most women, Marcus says, don't complain that their partner is not well endowed enough. "I almost never hear that a man's penis is too small," she says. "Most women are complaining that it is too large."

A very long penis can be uncomfortable since it can hit the cervix, she says.

"When the man's enis hits up against the internal organs, it can cause discomfort for the woman," confirms Renee Horowitz, MD, FACOG, of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, Michigan.

Navigating Your Physical Differences

Penis size isn't the only physical problem when it comes to sex. Here are steps to take to ensure a comfortable sexual experience, regardless of the issue.

1. You may find that switching to a different position, such as lying on your side or with the woman on top, can help, Horowitz says. "These positions can be more comfortable," she says. "Finding a position that is not painful is important,  and you need to communicate that with your partner."

2. Decreasing estrogen levels in older women can make sex painful, and this can be exacerbated when the man's penis is very large. "The walls of the vagina become thinner and dryer with age, and they don't lubricate as well," Horowitz says. "It's easily remedied by using lubricants, moisturizers, and vaginal estrogen."

3. If you don't have intercourse frequently, you may need to take it easy and slow when you get back to it, Horowitz says. "If you haven't had sex for a long time, talk with your doctor," she says. "You may need vibrator therapy to get started."

4. Occasionally, despite the size of her partner's penis, a woman may complain that she is getting "too loose," Marcus says. "This can be because the man's penis isn't what it used to be," she says. "For the woman, doing Kegel exercises can tone up and tighten these muscles."

5. If one person is a lot taller than the other, this can pose a challenge when they have sex, Marcus says. "But it's not a huge problem," Marcus explains. It may just require some creative thinking about positions during sex. "We had one couple that we had to help with positions a little since he was a lot taller," Marcus recalls. "They had a high bed, so when the man stood on the side of the bed, he was the perfect height for her."

6. Keep in mind that the more you have sex, the easier it will get. "If you don't have a lot of intercourse, the opening to the vagina actually becomes smaller," Horowitz says. "If you take it easy and slow, it becomes more comfortable. So keep up with the sex."

7. Above all, Marcus says, it's important to put things into perspective. "If you have a sense of humor and a sense of adventure, issues like these are pretty easy to solve," she says.